WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
