she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
