Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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