please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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