I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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