STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You made out with two different species that night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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