I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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