Yo dont text me then not text me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
