I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
