And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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