I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
