Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
