Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Couch. On fire.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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