SEEEEXXX PLEASE
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
