don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
