I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
