she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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