i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
