Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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