that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
