Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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