btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
