elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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