I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
