You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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