Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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