Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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