Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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