Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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