Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
