Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
40s are totally the cure
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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