Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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