I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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