She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Two words: nipple clamps
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