There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
