Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
