before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
