so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
