shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
