you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
