Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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