at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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