Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
