I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
