Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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