I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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