and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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