Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
