Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
