If that was your dad, he is hot
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
