worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my being single is dangerous.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
