he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
