So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Someone came in the potted fern
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
